2009: An Asian Odyssey

Hotel Seoho March 4, 2009

Sorry for the delay, but the person we were stealing wireless internet from in the hotel realized what we were doing and cut-off our access. We’ve had no internet since Sunday but we’re in our new place and ready to go. I’ll try and keep the posts coming so keep the comments flowing…

We knew that once we arrived in Seoul that we would be living in a hotel for at least a few days and maybe as long as a week. We certainly didn’t expect the Ritz, but I don’t think we were adequately prepared for what we were about to experience. Had I written this post after our first night, I probably would have been much more critical, but as the days passed I actually grew to like Hotel Seoho. Sure, living out of suitcase sucks and not having a kitchen and having to eat out for every meal isn’t ideal, but in terms of location and convenience, the Seoho is where it’s at.

At first we couldn’t figure out how to use the lights. That’s because you have to insert the room key into a slot near the entrance which then triggers a series of motion sensors throughout the room and allows you to use the light switches to manually override them. When the key is inserted it also lights up a small light outside the room to let others know that the room is occupied and should not be disturbed. It’s energy efficient and eliminates unnecessary disturbances from hotel staff. Brilliant.

This tiny room also comes fully stocked with a TV, a very small fridge, 2 coat hangers, a water cooler and an escape rope. Yes, an escape rope. The bathroom is fairly standard, but as the Mulloskies had warned us, no shower curtains. Anywhere. There’s a drain on the floor so that all water that sprays everywhere gets drained properly but it’s still kind of annoying when you go to use the washroom and your socks get soaked because someone just had a shower.

Upon entering the room, I immediately noticed that 2 condoms were provided on the desk, which at first seemed odd but probably a good idea in retrospect. After further exploration, I came across some Asian porn videos and everything started to make sense. We were living in what Koreans commonly refer to as a Love Hotel. There was actually shelves full of porn in the hallway. These cheap hotels cater to young people who still live with their parents and don’t want to bring home any unwelcome guests, and the 70% of Korean men who cheat on their wives (we were told this stat last night so take it for what it’s worth).

I could go one but I’ve already been told that my posts are too long so I’ll finish by sharing the story from our first night. We were both awoken abrubtly around 5am by a large thud coming from the floor above. Neither of us knew that the other one was awake so we just laid there in complete silence wondering where the hell we were and what was going on above us. The thud was followed by a series a screams – some of pure joy, some of sheer terror. Imagine trying to drown a squirrel who’s in the midst of an orgasm – that’s exactly what it sounded like. After a while, the screams would fade and loud conversations would commence. There was clearly a party going and I’m pretty sure alcohol was involved and clothes were optional. I spent the better part of the next hour or so wondering what we had gotten ourselves into, and whether I should call the front desk (and not be able to communicate in Korean) or grab my camera and head upstairs. Fortunately we fell back asleep and that was the only incident of consequence during our week long stay.

UPDATE: We moved into our new place today and it’s a palace. And when I say palace I mean homeless shelter (stay tuned for the video tour!). I should also point out that living in a hotel triggered a chemical in my DNA and had been dormant for at least 7 years and I may or may not have “borrowed” some towels from Hotel Seoho.

Oh, and I swear I’ve never tried to drown a squirrel. Or heard one have an orgasm.